no. you can't hotbox the world.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
