I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
3pm strippers are depressing
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
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