So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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