sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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