I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Randomize