Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
