I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Randomize
