i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
You ruined the universe
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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