My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Randomize
