Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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