he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Randomize
