All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
