i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
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I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
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I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
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