Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Randomize
