And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
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