Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
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