Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
