I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
I touched a dick in church today
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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