Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
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