I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
