Just fell off a train. Bad.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
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