hotel room ftw
I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
