woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
