Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
