Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
Operation Purity has been aborted
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
