five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize