mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize