New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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