i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
