That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
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