it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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