whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
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