Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
