All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
