Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
