His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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