I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Randomize
