what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
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