SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
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