Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize
