not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
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