I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Randomize
