Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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