Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
