We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Randomize
