its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
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