I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Randomize