boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
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