So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize
