see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
