And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Randomize
