shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
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