I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Randomize
