very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
