The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
