I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
