Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
