I'm jealous of your bromance
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
wow bdsm is so cute
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
