apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
